Allan is a planner. After his wife’s unexpected death, he decided it was time to plan his own funeral. He invited his son Bill to go with him to the funeral home. Bill was reluctant but went along to support his dad. Both of them felt better afterwards for sharing in the decision.

After visiting several funeral providers, Allan decided to pre-plan his arrangements. He wanted control over the final details of his life, and wanted his family to be free of needing to make difficult decisions. Allan created a list of his wishes and gave copies to the funeral provider and his son.

He did not want to pay for the services now, so he created a separate account, making sure his son had access to the account. Although Allan chose one of the least expensive caskets, the entire funeral and burial process added up to $8,100.

Two million people die every year in the United States. For consumers, funerals and burials are big businesses. A funeral is one of the most expensive events in one’s life: the average cost of a traditional funeral is close to $7,000. If you add flowers, obituary notices, acknowledgment cards, burial liners or vaults and special transportation, your costs go up. When emotions are high, it can be hard to remember that the cost of a funeral is not a measure of your feelings for the deceased. It’s not unusual for a family to spend $10,000 for a funeral today.

Most people don’t have much experience in making funeral arrangements, so it is hard to feel prepared. Making decisions can be difficult because we aren’t familiar with funeral goods or services, and we may be experiencing strong emotions when a loved one has died. Instead, take a lesson from Allan and make funeral arrangements a part of your overall estate planning. If you wish, you can pre-plan the ceremony, select the music, or design the memorial cards, all without paying in advance.

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By Barry Yeoman, January & February 2008

A funeral-industry scandal that’s fleecing thousands of Americans

In 1975 Audrey and Carl Brewer purchased what they thought was peace of mind—both for themselves and their family—when they bought two pre-paid funeral plans from Forest Hill South, a mortuary and cemetery in Memphis. Their plans cost them a total of $1,298, which they paid off in monthly installments of $27. That included caskets, the funeral services, and two burial plots on Forest Hill South’s 80-acre grounds. The Brewers considered their pre-need contracts as protection against inflation and a way, when they died, to take the financial burden off their children. “They [Forest Hill] told me everything was taken care of,” says Carl, 89, a retired housepainter. “The only thing I would owe would be if I wanted some flowers on the casket.”

The Brewers had no reason to question the honesty of Forest Hill. Its three locations had been in business since 1888, serving the rich and the poor alike, including such luminaries as Elvis Presley and his mother, Gladys. Like the Brewers, thousands of customers from Tennessee, Mississippi, and Arkansas had also trusted the company’s reputation enough to buy pre-need policies. Then in July 2006, one of Forest Hill’s new owners, Oklahoma oilman Clayton Smart, called a press conference to announce he was invalidating 13,500 pre-paid funeral contracts, including the Brewers’. While police stood by to prevent a customer riot, Smart explained that any contract holder who wanted to use his or her pre-need policy would have to pay an additional $4,000, more or less, at the time of death, even if the plan was already paid in full. “Obviously, things were a lot cheaper in 1965,” Smart explained. “I wouldn’t have bought the business if I thought I’d have to honor those contracts.”

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A pet’s death is hard on everyone. Learn about the pros and cons of cremating and burying your pet in this free video clip about coping with pet loss for children.

Expert: Denise Urban
Bio: Denise has a B.A. in psychology and two Masters degrees. She is an LPC(Licensed Professional Counselor).
Filmmaker: Travis Waack

This video demonstrates how to fill small and mid size cremation jewelry. When you purchase a cremation keepsake or pendant you have the option to either fill it yourself or ask your funeral home if they offer this service. This video shows you how to DIY.

LDS Cremation view (as reported in The Provo Daily Herald Jan. 30, 2003 )

“There is a strong LDS culture here”, Larry and Susan Turpen ( local funeral home owners) said, noting that the perception is that the church seems to frown on cremation, however, that is not true.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints may be more understanding of cremations than people realize. Dale Bills, a spokesman for the LDS Church said, “For Latter-day Saints, normally cremation is not encouraged. However, in some countries the law requires it. The family of the deceased must decide whether to cremate the body, taking into account any laws governing burial or cremation.” In other words, it’s not encouraged, but it’s not viewed as a sin, either. If an LDS person is cremated or has a member of their family cremated, the church maintains a nonjudgmental stance. “There is not anything in cremation that would cause a member of the church to be looked upon in disfavor in any way,” Bills said. And it won’t hurt that person’s chances in the afterlife, either. Some people may die in fires. Some may be lost at sea. Some may be cremated or buried. In all cases, LDS theology has the same view about the remains. “Our faith is that through Christ the blessings of the resurrection will be universal,” Bills said. “Body and spirit will be reunited for all who have lived.”

Joseph Fielding Smith in Answers to Gospel Questions 1957 Vol 2, pp.99-102  “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has never taken a definite stand on this (cremation) question.  Presumably no edict in relation to it will ever be taken.  The matter of burial of the dead, as far as the Church is concerned, is an individual or a family matter.  If any member of the Church should state in his will, or make any general statement, that he wished to be cremated, the Church authorities would not step in and interfere but would consider it something with which they had no official concern.”

The General Church Handbook #1 p 156 Normally cremation is not encouraged or discouraged, however in some countries the law requires it.  Family of the deceased must decide whether to cremate, taking into account the laws governing such.  Where possible the body of a deceased person who is endowed should be dressed in temple clothing before the cremation…

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